please don't...

please don't do anything rash Toshiro. This is not what I intended for to happen. Just please don't...

blank......

Not soo good anymore, that is how Toshiro feels. He has no way of Thinking straight. He fell into a hole he dug himself and he can't seem to climb up that hole. He keeps on trying and trying and trying, but he fails and fails and fails. This is something he really wants to get out of. It's a problem he can't run away from. Because, if he doesn't solve this he will lose every single thing that he had wished for, that he had hoped for... This is something he must face like all the other times he tried to face it but got scared. He was now in shock, in panic, in anger, in pain, in darkness. Toshiro is now at the edge of cliff in his mind, soo scared to look down, trying to grab something just to hold on, He dosen't want to fall into the darkness. he doesn't want to be left all alone, he desn't want to lose, he doesn't want to be here at this moment in time, at this cold place he is in, at this empty space where no one is beside him... he writes something and......

Toshiro's mid-day madness...

Toshiro did not understand, but he felt it. He realized that amongst everything that has happened to him this may be the last thing he ever does feel. Will insanity be his last path? or may he walk the other way? What must he do for his atonement? Innocence of the world is not a crime. It is just pushed unto him. May he not be himself? May he not be Toshiro?

Present...

The words that once filled my heart, now tore it open...
The sweetness that once was there, now has turned to silence...
The happiness which was once felt, is now noting more than a dream...

It hurts soo much that no one would understand...
It feels to painful for anyone to do anything....
It squeezes my heart but I feel like I'm suffocating...

First I thought I was only Dreaming,
Then I found out the truth.
That this could never be a Dream...
because Everything hurts soo True..

I cannot simply understand...
I cannot find my way...
I cannot believe your words....
I was hoping for you to stay...

Now there is something wrong..
Now there is nothing left...
Now there is just now...
The future I dream't about is gone...

hello?

The slightest change in tone....
The simple change of Dictation......
The Certain choice of Words.....

I already Know....

The voice that was Once Sweet
is now Filled with Sorrow....
The spoken Words that were Said
with Care are now suddenly Plain and Blunt...
The Answers the were lovingly mouthed
are Now enticed With Sadness.....
The calm Breathing has now turned
to Breathing heavily...

From this I Know..
I know that...
You
are
Sad...

Then it happened...

For so long to date, I have unwritten. Nothing in mind, nothing in soul...
Each task done with no thought, each step taken had no place....
Then it happened....

Below the Pits...

Something within....

Crawls.....


Slowly Moves.....


Clawing its way....


Scratching on the walls within.....



Trying to move up.......



Little By little......


Slowly but surely.....



Without Hesitation.....


It is Coming......

Words of :
TAONG LASING

Next step....

Life goes by in the blink of an eye.
you don't know what you are doing
You don't know why.
You keep on fighting
even though you'll fall
That's why I'm writing.
This is for you all.

Life goes by in the blink of an eye.
Each step taken is a new pace forward.
In each troubling situation
there is a solution.
Each written word is a testament
to the new world.
Creating a story for those
who learn it in history.

Life goes by in the blink of an eye.
Stand up my brother.
We must move further.
Even though we falter.
That is no reason to fight among each other.
There is this and there is that
but we must choose our own path.

Life goes by in the blink of an eye
Stop being scared
and stop your blaming
because life is rare
stand up and start trying.
life is too short for complexities
reach and let's build cities.

life goes by in the blink of an eye
You only get one chance to live.
so give it all you have to give.

Notice

Upon realizing his problem, Toshiro was troubled with what has happened. He said to himself "I didn't realize this until it was too late." But now he knew what he should do. He asked himself if he can still fight for it. He only came up with one answer. He will do what he can and he will do his best.

Insight

When Toshiro awoke, he didn't even know what happened the night before. He felt that there was something wrong, he felt that his world has changed. he slowly got up from his futon and walked into the bathroom. He washed his face, then glanced into the mirror above the sink. He didn't understand what was wrong with him, his body was heavy, his mind was numb, and his heart was crying.

Crying Angel

Even though you shed tears
Even though you are sad
Even when things get gloomy

Even though you're in sorrow
Even when you're troubled
Even though there are problems

Even if everything crashes down
around
Even though everything is hazy
Even when you can't speak a word

I would wipe your tears and say
"Even when you cry you are still
beautiful, Even when you're sad,
you're still my angel.
nothing will change that"

Everything in the middle..

It has come to my attention that not everything will stay the same.
Everything will come and go, every life will be born and will die.
Time will come, days then years will pass, everything will grow old.
Animals will live then die, plants will grow then wither and humans well.....

But there are things that die out faster than others, nothing is really the same.
Experiences in life don't last that long, some may last seconds, some may last minutes,
some may last days or even years, you're considered lucky if it lasts a lifetime.
The experiences I am talking about here is happiness, fulfillment, relationships, friends and love.

These are the experiences that most of us talk about. These are the things we should talk about.
Everything in the middle, everything that makes us who we are, everything that we do during our life. Everything will change, that is a given, what we have to do is accept the change and keep on living.Everything in the middle is beautiful,YES, but that depends on the person to if it is beautiful or not.

Old people always talk about when they were young, youngsters always talk about when they grow up, But when you're in the middle you always switch your side, you say when I was young or when I am old...
Well, for me that is, the best thing anyone can do is always live in the middle of life.

LIVE, LOVE, WORK, PLAY then die.

Contrasting Characteristics

It suddenly came to me when I was taking a nice warm bath. I thought and I knew that the us Filipinos are very hygienic people, in fact we are one of the most hygienic people in the world(other than the Japanese). But are we only supposed to be clean with ourselves? Shouldn't we also be clean with our environment? Why do we only limit ourselves to self cleanliness?

I believe that we could do more than being hygienic. I know that I did my share of pollution, I threw small amounts of thrash here and there but that was before I thought about the way it might affect the environment for the next generation. When I learned about how much it may affect the environment, I started throwing my trash in the right place. There is always a right place for everything, even for trash. think about it, what would happen to the environment if you keep throwing trash anywhere you want. It is a slow process of killing the environment for the next generation. I know its not a simple task but it must have effort from our part. There is this shot sign I read "MALIIT NA BASURA, IBULSA MUNA." and I have been following it since I read it about 2-3 years ago. It is quite easy, you put the small trash in your pocket or bag and when you get home or to any place that has a garbage can you can throw away. A simple task but if everybody does it, it will save alot of environment for the future generation.

Quote from me to you....

If love is lost then look for it.
If love runs from you, run after it.
If love deceives you, then shed light to see through it.

If love abandons you, then get adopted.
If you found love, don't ever let go.

Ice Cold...

Ice is a wonderful thing isn't it?

In hot weather, it cools our drinks.
It relieves the heat.
It refreshes the body.
Cold drinks quenches thirst on a hot day.
It excites anyone who feels warm.
Just to see a favorite drink with
ICE in it pleasures the mind.

As nice as ICE is,
It could also be a worry.
If you drink too quickly a
cold Drink you get a brain freeze.
If you step on ICE you slip and fall.
If chew on ICE it may break your teeth.
If you leave it alone it could melt.

But well, ICE is always a good pain reliever.Ü

Dying to be killed....

It is always like this.
When there is a sharp pain you feel.
When the world darkens around you.
When there is something missing.
When almost all hope is lost.
When help is too far away.
When love turns away.
When friends take a step back.
When enemies cast a shadow.
When an situation goes all wrong.
When you spent the last of your strength
and still haven't reached your goal.
When you loosing something/someone.
When hatred is among us.
It is always like this.
So numb to everything else,
Grasping for air,
Reaching out,
Body feeling heavy,
Mind and soul twisted and bent,
Can't think, Can't sleep, Can't eat
laying, just laying
not moving a muscle,
waiting to be killed.....

young but old

Funny thing isn't it? It always usually like this. The young try to be old. I remember when I was young I always wanted to grow up as fast as I could. I always wanted, well not really always, but I wanted to do the stuff that grown-ups do. Now to think of it, I wanted to work, I wanted to have a nice life where I could do everything I wanted. But reality hurts, real badly, if i could say.

Now that I'm old enough to know things, I'm old enough to see different things and experience different situations of the adult world. It really is not what I expected when I was young.

And now if I could face myself as a child I would want to tell myself while you're young you should just enjoy life as it is because when you get old you'll be wishing you were still young where everybody loves you and when you make mistakes they are not really your fault because you are still learning. That's maybe what I could say. And If I was young I would say to my older self that I did everything wrong. I would say to my older self that you are not doing what you wanted to do, what I wanted to be.

So, to think about it, I really don't know what happened. But, there maybe still something I can do, I could do. I could just be myself. I could be both, me as a young child and me as an adult.
I should enjoy life now that I am old but make decisions for myself and stick to the things I have chosen to do. Maybe that's the truth of all this. We should never forget the things we said when we were young.

LOOK!!!!

Minsan nasa kanan ka.......

Minsan nasa kaliwa ka.......

Minsan nasa gitna ka ng lahat.....

Minsan
naman
justified
ka.........

huh? hahaha

pero

tama

naman

ako

di ba?

:D

Empty

My lips are dry
My mind is blank
My body is weak
My heart is broken
The future is dark

I look into myself,
I see nothing but night
I dive into my soul
but there is nothing there

I take a few steps forward
but it's like I never moved at all
I am drenched in tears
but it feels like
there is no end to this

Even though I cry
no one will ever hear me
because I cry alone
alone in the emptiness of my heart

Being Idle...

Life is a lot like water.
And we are the ones who dwell within it.
Water sustains the most beautiful of creatures.
but does it matter if the water is stagnant or moving?
The ocean for example gives life to hundreds of different
species of underwater sea creatures.
It sure lovely to see the ocean and hear its waves.
but that's not what I really wanna talk about.
I want to talk about the way life is.
life like the ocean and seas have calm times,
when everything is serene and moves slowly.
life like the ocean also has times times of anger,
when a storm comes, tragedy strikes, waves upon
waves come pushing and tugging, crashing into one another.
life also has those sorrow times, look at the ocean at night and
you'll see the sadness. waves darkened in the night,
brushing the shores as if asking for help.
These are all the part of life.
but there is one more thing to think about.
water also becomes stagnant.
like when the ocean leaves a small pool in the sand.
this is also part of life.
but it still breeds life.
like the little insects and small creature.
being in the stagnant phase of life is nothing to be ashamed about.
its part of life.
But be sure you fine your way back to the ocean...

Here I start...

I am here, though its been along time since I had something to write. I wrote some of my stuff in other websites but now I'm here to start. I feel though it relieves me of something, something less to think about, something that either beckons to annoy me or surprise me. The truth is i just want to let it out.